[Gaming on a Budget] The Kingdom of Loathing, Where an Adventurer is You

Kingdom of Loathing is a turn-based role-playing game created by Asymmetric Publications.  The premise of the game is simple enough: you're an adventurer traveling through the magical Kingdom of Loathing in search of wealth (in this case piles of meat), power, and fame.  How you accomplish this goal depends on which class you select upon character creation.

The six character classes (described on the website as "intoxicating and intoxicated") are the Turtle Tamer, Seal Clubber, Pastamancer, Sauceror, Disco Bandit, and Acordian Thief.  If you haven't realized this already, the Kingdom of Loathing does not take itself very seriously.

As in most RPGs, the Kingdom of Loathing also makes use of an ability score system.  Unlike in most RPGs however, the Kingdom of Loathing's ability scores are not things like "Strength," "Vitality," and "Wisdom," but are instead "Muscle," "Mysticality," and "Moxie."  Increasing the key ability for your class results in gaining levels and unlocking new powers.

I chose to embark upon my adventure as a Seal Clubber, so my experiences with this game will be from that perspective.  After tinkering around with the game for a few minutes to familiarize myself with the controls once more I set out to climb to the Icy Peak of Mt. McLarge Huge.

The Dangerous Mt. McLargeHuge, home of eXtreme sports enthusiasts, snowman ninjas, and goats alike. | Image Courtesy of Asymmetric Publications

After I climbed to the mist-shrouded peaks of Mt. McLargeHuge I had to fight my way past several frightened yetis that kept knocking me down.  The game assured me that this was quite annoying, and I was unable to disagree.  After getting run over by three yetis, I finally made it to the very top of the mountain where I met the mighty Groar in battle.

The mighty Groar vs. the (hopefully) mightier Tempestman!  Surely battle for the bards to sing about! | Images Courtesy of Asymmetric Publications

We exchanged blows, I with my mighty Drowsy Sword and he with his claws and frigid breath attacks.  I finally defeated him with my special maneuver (the Seal Clubber's trademark "Thrust-Smack") and harvested his skin like any good animal murderer would do.  With my foe smote in ruin before me Balrog-style, I climbed down the mountain to continue my most noble of quests.

While the description of that battle may have made the battle seem epic and victory difficult to achieve, I assure you that it was not.  All I really had to do was click on a few buttons and the screen and before I knew it the mighty Groar was dead before my feet.

Gameplay

The Kingdom of Loathing uses several different parts to make up its gameplay.  Each character has different abilities, skills, and equipment that determine his or her strengths and weaknesses.  Each day a character can go on 50 Adventures, although there are ways to get more without waiting. Finally there is the combat system itself.

An Adventure is best described as a turn or an action.  Each day you're given 50 Adventures (signified by the hourglass symbol beneath your character), which means you can do about 50 different things before you have to wait until the next day.  Some tasks (such as going on vacation) require more than one Adventure to accomplish.  Eating food and drinking alcohol can replenish a few Adventures each day, but if you drink too much you'll wind up doing something you'll regret (much like in real life!).  If you don't play the game for a few days you'll find that your Adventures accumulate each day until you max out at 200 Adventures.

The ladies love how muscley I am. | Image Courtesy of Asymmetric Publications

Each character has three abilities: Muscle (your strengthliness and fortitude), Mysticality (your mysteriousness and wizardliness), and Moxie (your chutzpah and roguishness).  Muscle is the primary stat for the Seal Clubber and Turtle Tamer classes and helps determine your total Hit Points.  Mysticality is the primary stat for Pastamancers and Saucerors and determines how many MP you have to use special skills.  Moxie is the main stat for the Accordion Thief and Disco Bandit classes and determines your ability to dodge attacks and how much damage you take from attacks that hit you.  You gain levels in the game by increasing your main stat, which happens over the course of your adventures and from special items.

Finally there's the ever-important combat.  Those of you familiar with the Pokémon Gameboy and Nintendo DS games released by Nintendo (and I'm hoping that people reading a blog about video games have at least a passing knowledge of one of the most successful video game franchises) will find the combat system to be rather familiar.

Since the entire game is more-or-less text-based (I hope you like reading), combat isn't very active.  Once you happen across a monster you're given a few options: "Attack with your [weapon]," "Use Item," and "Use Skill."

The pop-culture references never fail to amuse me. | Image Courtesy of Asymmetric Publications

I've found that as a Seal Clubber most of my problems can be solved with the first option.  Anything that can't be killed with a regular attack from my sword can usually be taken care of with a Thrust-Smack.  Other classes have their own ways of solving disputes, such as the Turtle Tamer's shell auras and the Accordion Thief's songs.

Once you've chosen which method of attack you wish to use, the game will determine how effective it was and then have the monster attack you in return.  This back-and-forth will continue until you're victorious or sent home to lick your wounds.  Should you survive (and the survival rate of most adventurers is actually pretty high), you'll be given your precious loot, which is usually in the form of meat (the game's currency), one or two minor items, and occasionally an important or powerful quest item or weapon.

The game isn't that hard to figure out, although the sheer amount of things you can do and loot you can acquire can be overwhelming at first.  However, once you get used to it, Kingdom of Loathing becomes a great game that can be played for a few minutes in your spare time.  Just don't play it during class or at an important meeting.

Best Pop Culture Reference

The Kingdom of Loathing is chock-full of pop culture references, which really help set the unapologetically sarcastic tone of the game.  So far one of my favorite references in the game is the Meatloaf Helmet, a piece of armor that can be worn to increase your resistance against stench damage (I did mention that this game doesn't take itself too seriously, right?)

Meatloaf Helmet- This is a helmet made of meatloaf.  Mmmmm.  You feel like a Bat out of Hell when you wear it.  You would do anything for this hat (but you won't do that.)

Read more »

[Gaming On a Budget] Slender

After taking another hiatus from my journalistic pursuits (to continue all that romancing and Great American novel writing I told you all so much about in my last post), I've decided to come back and write another article for our "Gaming On a Budget" section.  Since I figure the six-member audience this blog has is comprised mostly of college students, graduate students, and post-college/graduate students, the amount of money in our collective pockets probably isn't enough to buy the latest and greatest video game that just hit the market.  I just want to point out now that I do not consider Madden NFL 13 to be the latest and greatest video game.  Anyway, let's get the meat of the article.

Image Courtesy of Gameranx

Slender is a free game developed by Parsec Productions, an indie game developer, based on the Slender Man meme that has become all the rage on the Internet thanks to games like Slender and the YouTube video series "Marble Hornets."  For those of you who don't know who or what the Slender Man is, allow me to enlighten you.

"Hello children!" "Hey Slender Man!" | Know Your Meme

Slender Man is a tall, gangly (if not well-dressed and somewhat posh and dapper) humanoid with abnormally long arms and a featureless white face.  He can elongate or shorten his arms, and it is rumored that tentacles sprout from his back.  While this might seem scary enough such as it is, Slender Man can also cause memory loss, insomnia, paranoia, and coughing fits in people (much like these popular pills).  He also distorts audio and video, making it almost impossible to catch him on film.

There isn't much of a story line for Slender, you simply appear in the woods at night armed with nothing more than your wits and a flashlight.  The controls aren't very complex.  Moving the mouse allows you to look around, the WASD keys control your movement, holding down Shift lets you run for a brief period of time, the left and right mouse buttons let you pick up pages or turn your flashlight off and on respectively.

The goal is to collect eight pages scattered across the forest before the Slender Man catches you.  It starts off easy enough, with the Slender Man not moving too fast and the forest being pretty easy to navigate

Just like Brittany, Slender Man just wants to be left alone. | Up to Down

As you continue exploring the forest trying to find the different pages you may start to notice some things.  The fog might start to get thicker, making it hard to navigate through the trees.  You'll find that you can't run as long or as fast.  Maybe your flashlight's battery will die, leaving you alone in the dark.  Then you'll start to notice the screen getting fuzzy...

That's your cue to run.  If you're familiar with the Slender Man mythos (or if you read my brief and informative section about the Slender Man about three paragraphs up) you know what that means: Slendy is near.  When that happens holding Shift will allow you to run even faster so that you can try to escape Slender Man, but it comes at the permanent cost of your stamina.  Running from the Slender Man is physically and emotionally taxing and you can only take so much before you finally succumb.

If you're lucky you'll be able to escape from the Slender Man and continue your quest to find the different pages.  However, if you're like me during my second play through you'll notice the visual tearing and run...

He is a very dapper dresser! |  Softonic

... Right into the Slender Man's waiting arms.

I'm not going to tell you what happens if you manage to collect all eight pages.  You can either play the game or go to some other website for that information.  I will, however, recommend that you play the game while sitting alone in your room with all the lights off and as little outside noise as possible.  It really helps set the mood that Slender is aiming for.

I definitely recommend giving Slender a try, especially if you're a fan of psychological horror games.  Nothing else has quite made me jump or scream (if you can call the noise that came out of my fear-distorted face a scream) like Slender.  You can download Slender for free here.

Read more »

[Gaming On a Budget] Strike Force Heroes

It's been awhile since I last sat down and wrote an article.  While I'd love to say it was because I've been spending most of my time working, romancing my girlfriend, writing the next Great American Novel, or spending quality time with friends and family, it's really not.  Not that I haven't been doing that (because I totally have, ask anyone), it's mostly because the semester ended and I was tired of doing anything related to journalism and also because I'm lazy.

Mostly because I'm lazy.

But then today while I was trying to avoid writing with all of my considerable might and willpower I came across a gem of a game: Strike Force Heroes.

Even the loading screen is pure awesome. | Armorgames.com

I saw the game on NotDoppler (the go-to game site of any man worth his salt) and figured any game with "Strike" or "Force" or "Heroes" would be worth trying out.  The fact that "Strike Force Heroes" has all three of these buzz words in its title made not-clicking on the link to play it impossible.

After waiting for the loading screen to finish its business, I was greeted by the title screen.

Which was also pure awesome.  Look at the fire and the bullets and the knife guy! | Armorgames.com

It looks like some 80s arcade game and something for the SNES decided to get drunk and make a boxart baby.  After entering my name I entered the world of Strike Force Heroes.  It turned out that the game isn't so much a strategy game (which I had been hoping for), but was instead a side-scrolling shoot 'em up.

If you've played any of JuiceTin's other games (Raze or Raze 2) or the old and rather popular Unreal Flash game, you already know how to play Strike Force Heroes.  You enter the battlefield, move around with WASD or the arrow keys, and shoot your way to victory.  Simple and incredibly fun.

However, to say that Strike Force Heroes is the same as Raze or Unreal Flash would be a lie.  Following the incredibly popular Battlefield 3's footsteps, Strike Force Heroes (which I will refer to as "SFH" from now on) uses a sort of "class-system."  There are four classes: Medic (Assault), Assassin (Recon), Commando (Support), and Tank (Engineer?).

Each class has its own weapon, skill, and kill streak options.  For example, the Medic class focuses on using assault rifles and similar weapons, machine pistols and submachine guns (which are shared by all classes), kill streaks that focus on supporting and healing allies, and skills that make him harder to kill by restoring his health.  Overall, the medic is pretty well balanced and can be easily played by anyone.

Image courtesy of Armorgames.com

The Commando is sort of like the Heavy from TF2, it runs around with a big gun and shoots things full of holes.  Higher damage and rate of fire than the Medic's assault rifles, but its range and accuracy aren't as good.  I've found that the Commando is the best class to use when I want to rack up the kills.

It's also the best class to use if I want to look like a total bad-ass! | Armorgames.com

The Assassin is the class I'm least familiar with, as I'm a piss-poor sniper in FPS games and my skills in side-scrollers isn't much better.  As one could assume, the assassin is good as using stealth and subterfuge to take out enemies quickly and efficiently.  It uses the standard sniper weapon: the rifle, but if you would rather get up close and personal the assassin can purchase and wield knives in battle as well.  The assassin's skills and kill streaks focus on making it harder to find and pointing out enemies for his allies to take out.

Even when dressed like a Final Fantasy ninja I'm still bad at assassining. | Armorgames.com

The last class is the Tank.  They are good at taking hits and not too shabby at dishing out damage.  The weapon choice available to the Tank is more polarized than those available to the other classes.  Tanks can either use shotguns (close quarter weapons that deal a lot of damage) or shields (deal no damage but when used to block protects the Tank from enemy fire).  I'm currently working with a shield and MP5 submachine gun and it's working out quite well for me.

The fact that I can be an Imperial Stormtrooper makes the Tank class even more appealing. | Armorgames.com

What makes SFH stand out from similar games is the how classes affect the overall gameplay.  In Raze and Raze 2 you get to customize your character, pick a name, and enter the battlefield with a pistol.  You run around shooting people and collecting weapons, ammo, and power-ups.  In SFH you enter the battlefield as whatever class you left up on the Soldier Menu screen (which can be kind of annoying until you get used to it) with the weapons, skill, and kill streak you selected.  Ammo and medipacs can be picked up to help you on your mission, but for the most part you're stuck with what you carried on to the field.

When you die you can pick which class you want to use in your next life.  Each kill nets you experience, which in turn will level you up and unlock new weapons, streaks, and skills.  You also earn money which allows you to purchase the aforementioned things.  Each class tallies its XP and money separately, so the classes you favor will become stronger faster, but it also makes it harder for the other classes to unlock their better weapons and skills.

Image Courtesy of Armorgames.com

The Soldier Menu is pretty easy to navigate and use.  Just click on something and another menu will appear.  Each class's level, money, stats, weapon load out, and skill sets is visible.  The only thing that I found frustrating was the fact that I'd have to click the class I wanted to start the next mission or match with before I left, or I could wind up playing a Medic when what I really needed to use was my Tank.  However, after a few games leaving the menu on the appropriate class became second nature.

I haven't played the campaign much, instead I've been playing Quickplay matches to earn money and XP for my classes.  From what I've gathered though, you play as a member of the Strike Force and you're trying to rescue a scientist or something.  Who knows?  The third level is played on a airplane that's falling out of the sky and being followed by mysterious MiG fighters.  If that's not enough to excite you then you've probably killed your inner child.

Overall SFH is a fun and addicting little game, and is definitely one of JuiceTin's best.  It combines the best parts of side scrolling action games with guns, class-roles, and the kill streak system that has become such a prominent part of shooting games.  I definitely recommend that you give it a try.

For my next article I'd like to review the Skyrim expansion Dawnguard, but since I have a Playstation 3 that currently doesn't work my television and Bethesda and Microsoft are butt-buddies, it might be awhile...

I'm on to you Todd, I know you and Mr. Gates are more than "really good friends."

Read more »